Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
