it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize