I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
