omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize