your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
