I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
