I can text with my tongue
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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