so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
