I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
