I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
