My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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