When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
