Define "chronic" masturbator.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
