ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
