I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
