her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
