census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize