Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
