i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
