Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize