We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
