I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
