HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
