I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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