Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
