I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize