is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
