Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
