he wants to bone in the snuggie
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
