did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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