Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sobbing to NWA
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
