ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize