He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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