they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
