doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
