i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My bed smells like the plague
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize