Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
