some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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