Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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