oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
