mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
