somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
