His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
