what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
