Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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