you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
