I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
