I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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