Soap is not a condiment
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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