so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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