your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize