I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
