Cold hands, warm shart.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My penis needs a shock collar
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
