Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
