I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Plan B is the new Plan A
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
