my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize