maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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