This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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