At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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