She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize