none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
