my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
