you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize