shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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