hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
