he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
