its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
