I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
