Buhtt sex?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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