What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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