glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize