I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
