i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
