I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
