Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
