You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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