I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am one with the molecules
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
